Read Crown the Jester by Joe Laser Online


Thup-thup-thup-thup-thup!"Do you hear that?" Frank asked."Uh-huh!" Sammy replied. "When a brother hears that sound, he drops his reefer and puts his hands up."Frank tore the balcony curtains open. Hovering a few feet beyond the railing was Hochi's helicopter, shining darkly like a coughing inkblot."Shit!" Frank said. There was his chance at saving those sixteen thousand kiThup-thup-thup-thup-thup!"Do you hear that?" Frank asked."Uh-huh!" Sammy replied. "When a brother hears that sound, he drops his reefer and puts his hands up."Frank tore the balcony curtains open. Hovering a few feet beyond the railing was Hochi's helicopter, shining darkly like a coughing inkblot."Shit!" Frank said. There was his chance at saving those sixteen thousand kids, flying off into the sunrise. He could see the forming crowd of reporters and TV crews at the hotel entrance, far below. Come to bury him, no doubt. And was that Bradley in the co-pilot's chair, puking his guts out? What the hell? Frank didn't think. He couldn't -- his long night of chasing will-o-the-wisps had left his dogs barking -- and he didn't need to, for he understood his situation perfectly: He was dead. It made no difference whether his body met its end today, splattered on the sidewalk, or in six months, drunk and bloated in the sauna at Cal-Neva. On the inside, he was already dead. Resurrection, as unlikely as it was, was the only chance he had left.He ran at the railing and leapt.-----------------------------------------Crown the Jester is an action-comedy novel set in a skewed 1963. It stars these period players:Frank Sinatra - a new PresidentRichard Nixon - a schemerMarilyn Monroe - a Rousseauian bimboSam Giancana - a fading mastermindJoe DiMaggio - a baseball playerCheckers - a dogand these original characters:Bradley Hastings - a loyal bodyguardTony Montoni - a divided bodyguardDr. Haruki Mizobe - a mad scientistWilliam W. Willoughby - a hired attorneyCarla Montoni - a first loveet al.In 1960, Frank Sinatra became the Vice President, thanks to dockyards, dames, and mob money. It was beautiful; the best job he’d ever had. Easy easy, Eggs Benedict and champagne cocktails. Once a week he sang on the radio. One song, some old canard like My Heart is a Hobo, then it was time for bed.And the women!Through the whole dark drunken blur of it he never once considered that Jack might die. But Jack did die, shot dead by a prideful man.In 1963, Frank Sinatra became the President, thanks to a .38. Now, together with his friends Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr., he must heal the nation's wounds.And if that ain’t enough, he's got a ship on fire in the Gulf of Tonkin. And Nixon plotting to impeach him.And his Sam Giancana demanding favors due.And Marilyn making trouble just because it's her nature.And that poor sap Joe’s the one who pulled the trigger!Easy? Hell!...

Title : Crown the Jester
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9780615857497
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 370 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

Crown the Jester Reviews

  • Jake Hainey
    2019-04-02 12:06

    It’s an unfortunate truth that our reaction to a piece of media is largely based on our mood at the time of taking it in. If you’re in a good mood, chances are you’re going to react favourably to a book, read it again while sad or angry however and your perception of the story will change drastically.So it is unfortunate that throughout this month I’ve been in a bit of a reading slump, finding it hard to really fall in love with anything I’ve picked up. The annoying thing about this is that, in these instances, it’s hard to tell if you’re not enjoying a book because you’re in a slump or if you’re in a slump because you’re not enjoying the book.Whatever the reason though, I know that if I were to re-read Crown the Jester while in a better mood, I’d enjoy it a lot more than I did in this instance.Crown the Jester takes place in an alternate 60’s where JFK has been assassinated, not by Lee Harvey Oswald, but by Joe DiMaggio, leaving Kennedy’s V.P. Frank Sinatra to take on the presidency.Several other famous faces appear in the novel, Oswald himself appears as a paranoid delusional, Marilyn Monroe is a blonde bimbo carrying Frank’s genetically modified child and Richard Nixon sits in his office scheming about how to impeach Sinatra and solidify his legacy as the first man in space.Throw into the mix gangsters, mad scientists, the looming threat of the Vietnam war and secret service nuns and you have the makings of an epic screwball comedy that by all accounts I should have loved.Sadly though, for me, this mix failed to ever really catch fire. There were plenty of moments that I read and found myself thinking “I should have found that funny” but never really did. While I did enjoy some of the dialogue and absolutely loved the portrayal of Nixon as the hand-rubbing cartoon baddie in the shadows, most of the humour in the book just left me feeling…meh… The story was a little overcomplicated too with so many characters fighting for attention that if your mind wandered for a minute while reading you’d find yourself returning completely lost. On several occasions I found myself flipping back through the book having to remind myself of the various plotlines because it all became a bit of a muddle as the book progressed. Again though, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I really should have enjoyed this book more. As I was reading, I really wanted to like this book but for whatever reason I just couldn’t get into it.I may return to this one in the future when I’m in a better mood and see if I like it any better, but for now I’ll rate it at a 3/5. I’m sure a lot of people reading it will really enjoy it and find this mixed up alternate world hilarious, but, for now at least, I can’t personally recommend it. I recieved this book for free through a Goodreads giveawayor more reviews, be sure to check out my blog:

  • Cj W
    2019-04-09 07:09

    I am going to review this book now, even though I haven't been able to finish it. I won this book on Goodreads as a 'First Reads' winner, and ... I haven't been able to keep my thoughts on it. It has historical characters in it, and is in the time line of Nixon and Marilyn Monroe, even though the Author insists that anything associated with these names is purely coincidental. (riiiiight) The issue for me, is that it reads WAY TOO MUCH like a Holosuite program, from Quarks bar, in Deep Space Nine. If you've seen one of these episodes of the show, the crew are in, or get stuck in a Holosuite program, like ones with Frank Sinatra and spy associations, etc. ... This is too much like that, and yes Frank Sinatra is in this book also. ... It jumps from 'Frankie' Sinatra, to Nixon, to Marilyn Monroe, to Joe DiMaggio ... They are all some how tied together and I just don't have the patience for the book at this time, to figure out why or how. Anyways. If your a fan of these above mentioned people, or if you LOVE the episodes of Deep Space Nine with the Holosuite programs, then GREAT, this book is absolutely great for you!I absolutely detest leaving a book unfinished, and I will finish this book at some point, but, this time around, it just can't keep my interest. - CJ

  • Susan
    2019-03-29 04:48

    What would've happened if Frank Sinatra would've been JFK's VP instead of LBJ? The course of history might have been more amusing, and we might have had avoided watergate all together. This is a romp through history that cleverly tells the tale of the aftermath of Camelot a little differently than you may remember it.

  • Ann
    2019-04-19 05:51

    A summer must-read -- guaranteed to make you laugh and secretly wish there really had been a Rat Pack Administration.

  • Joe Laser
    2019-04-13 03:54