Read Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault by Justin S. Holcomb Lindsey A. Holcomb Mark Driscoll Online


The statistics are jarring. One in four women and one in six men are or will be victims of sexual assault in their lifetime. But as sobering as the statistics are, they don't begin to speak to the darkness and grief experienced by these victims. Because sexual assault causes physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual pain, victims need clear help, hope, and healing.The statistics are jarring. One in four women and one in six men are or will be victims of sexual assault in their lifetime. But as sobering as the statistics are, they don't begin to speak to the darkness and grief experienced by these victims. Because sexual assault causes physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual pain, victims need clear help, hope, and healing. In Rid of My Disgrace, a couple experienced in counseling victims of sexual assault explains how the grace of God can heal the broken and restore the disgraced.Justin and Lindsey Holcomb outline an approach for moving from destruction to redemption. While avoiding platitudes and shallow theology, Rid of My Disgrace combines biblical and theological depth with up-to-date research. This book is primarily written for those who have been assaulted (either as children or adults) but also equips family, friends, pastors, and others to care for victims in ways that are compassionate, practical, and informed....

Title : Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 9781433515989
Format Type : Paperback
Number of Pages : 288 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

Rid of My Disgrace: Hope and Healing for Victims of Sexual Assault Reviews

  • Christina Thundathil
    2019-05-05 12:37

    I am in the final part well section of this book. I was actually doing a search on DOD Sexual Assault reports when I came across this book. I have read every book you can imagine to find healing; preaching, prayer. You name it and I have done it. I had many questions that staff at my church could not answer; no one wants to preach on this. Its like a taboo topic and I was hurting badly. Still having thoughts of suicide while going to church and using laxatives to make myself skinny because I felt pressure from my Pastor to be accepted by him and his wife.Reading this book as a multiple victim of sexual assault as a child and then in the military as helped me a great deal. It broke things down so as a victim I could understand and move to be being a survivor with the purpose that God has for my life. Understanding that the Holy Spirit carries this load with me, and that my church family should has brought me much peace. The light came on in so many places I just can't describe it. That God is Justice but I was convicted about my revenge because I served it more than God; it became an idol. That he understood; it was more like an inner washing and even though I am not completely healed from the military sexual trauma I am not where I was 6 months ago. I am so glad God put this in my Que to buy!

  • Melissa
    2019-05-24 12:44

    This was a beautifully written book about the disgrace that follows sexual assault, and the hope available for victims. I read this book because it was recommended for victims, friends of victims, or any who wish to offer counseling to victims. But after reading it, I think it could offer tremendous healing for all who have experienced any kind of abuse (and if you are human, you've experienced some kind of abuse). We all deal with the shame and hurt that comes from someone sinning against us. We all struggle with the question of whether to forgive or punish when we've been hurt. And we all need to fully know that Jesus' love covers all. This book is definitely staying on my bookshelf for future referrals.

  • Jacob Young
    2019-05-05 09:58

    ***Originally published at***One if four women and one in six men (sta­tis­ti­cally) will be sex­u­ally assaulted at some point in their lives. Which means, that if there are four women and six men who read this post, 1/5 of them will have been, or will be sex­u­ally assaulted in their life­time. That’s a stag­ger­ing amount of peo­ple. If you’re like me, you’re eas­ily left hav­ing a vague notion of the hor­ror of this sin, baf­fled with a bro­ken heart for the vic­tims of sex­ual assault, and won­der­ing, “How can Jesus help these peo­ple?!” Jesus says he comes to heal the bro­ken, surely if any­body can be described as bro­ken, it’s the vic­tims of sex­ual assault.Justin Hol­comb and Lind­sey Hol­comb step along side us in Rid of My Dis­grace and help us see the glo­ri­ous power of Christ to give hope and heal­ing for vic­tims of sex­ual assault.I’ll be hon­est, I read this book back­wards. I know, authors have their order of chap­ters for a rea­son, but I was far more con­cerned with how they ended the book then how they began it. Far too often peo­ple begin with good inten­tions of help­ing the bro­ken, but end in shady places. The Holcomb’s never even come close to this temp­ta­tion. In part three of Rid of My Dis­grace, “Grace Accom­plished”, they end, essen­tially, with a Bib­li­cal The­ol­ogy of how shame and grace inter­act through­out the Bible and cul­mi­nate in the per­son and work of Jesus Christ. They do this to help vic­tims of sex­ual assault find their sin’s place (both sins done against them and their own sins against God) in the story of God’s accom­plished redemp­tion plan in Jesus Christ.There are two things to note here: 1) The Hol­combs do not play games with psy­col­o­giz­ing heal­ing for sex­ual assault vic­tims. They come into the issue with the Gospel in hand to offer Jesus to vic­tims. 2) Along these lines, the book is lit­er­ally lit­tered with Scrip­ture. They have a very inter­est­ing footnoting/endnoting sys­tem where all pas­sages of Scrip­ture quoted or ref­er­enced are foot­noted on every page, while works and authors are end­noted in the back. As I did a scan through the book, they hardly have a page or two with­out scrip­ture quoted or ref­er­enced help­fully at the bot­tom. This means that those who come to this book for help will be imme­di­ately directed to God’s Book, where they will find his grace for heal­ing and hope.The rest of the book – you know, that part at the begin­ning that I cir­cled around and read out of order – is equally as help­ful as the end­ing. In part one, they sim­ply open up the issues involved in under­stand­ing what sex­ual assault is (chap­ter 1) and what its effects are (chap­ter 2). They define sex­ual assault, parse the words in what they mean, and help you under­stand how it applies to victims.In part two they work through case stud­ies. Each of these sto­ries are heart­break­ing sim­ply by their real­ity. They open each sec­tion of “Grace Applied” with a person’s story of being the vic­tim of sex­ual assault, and then dis­cuss the par­tic­u­lar effect that sin had upon that per­son and how Jesus Christ is not only acquainted with that sin, but is the answer to its need of heal­ing. They work through denial, dis­torted self-image, shame, guilt, anger, and despair. All con­di­tions we are all aware of, but each sub­ject in the hands of the Hol­combs is skill­fully met with grace.I have been deeply struck by how well the Hol­combs have sought to under­stand the vic­tims of sex­ual assault. They do not triv­i­al­ize their suf­fer­ing. They do not push it aside. But they also do not let it loom so large that its unan­swer­able or left uncared for. Through the course of the book, you see the eyes of Christ weep­ing for sin, and the hand of Christ offer­ing heal­ing for the needy.I heartily rec­om­mend this book to all Chris­tians in our day. I give the only slight cau­tion of rec­om­mend­ing it to younger read­ers (15–18 y/o) sim­ply due to the con­tent of the tes­ti­mo­ni­als in part two. Par­ents will want to read through those sec­tions first and judge their own children’s matu­rity (or walk through the chap­ters with them). Oth­er­wise, this book will be an invalu­able resource for the church in help­ing them under­stand how the Gospel engages this per­va­sive sin in our day.To Justin and Lind­sey, thank you so much for writ­ing this book. I know it is going to be mas­sively help­ful to the peo­ple of Christ. What I most deeply appre­ci­ated about how you addressed the issue in the book is that you don’t shy away from the heart break­ing hor­ror of the suf­fer­ing and evil of sex­ual assault, but you also don’t shy away from Jesus Christ and his Gospel. I saw a firm set­ting on the Gospel through­out the book that helped my soul grow ten­der like Christs for the peo­ple who are vic­tims of sex­ual assault. Thank you for this.This wednes­day, I will be post­ing a fol­low up to this review with a ques­tion I posed to Pas­tor Justin about how those who are not vic­tims of sex­ual assault in the church can ori­ent them­selves to care for those who are.Title: Rid of My Dis­grace: Hope and Heal­ing for Vic­tims of Sex­ual AssaultAuthors: Just­ing S. Hol­comb and Lind­sey A. Hol­combBoards: paper­backPages: 209Vol­umes: 1Dust jack­ets: noBind­ing: gluedTop­i­cal index: yes (sub­jects and names)Scrip­tural index: yesPub­lisher: Cross­wayYear: 2011Price USD: $15.99 / $10.55 at WTS­BooksISBN: 978–1-4335–1598-9

  • Jennifer
    2019-05-01 06:46

    Sexual assault is so prevalent as to be almost assumed among our culture today in some form or another. Even if you've never been technically raped, chances are you've experienced some form of shame in regards to your person and sexuality. This book has an amazing message of grace and redemption based on the beautiful and triumphant love of Christ Jesus as demonstrated on the cross. One of the most powerful points of this book is the Holcombs' definitions of "assault", "consent", "abuse", "rape", etc. In a culture where there is an ongoing struggle to define those powerful words for legal reasons, many men and women are being forced into shame and silence believing that their experiences were warranted, justified or even asked for. As the authors define these words in terms of desire and harmony or the lack thereof, and as they show the effects of being objectified, there is freedom in calling assault and abuse what it really is. Our ladies group went through this as a study together, addressing each chapter one by one. As we did it was surprising how many instances of abuse and assault came up. We realized how many sexual experiences women have that they actually did not initiate or desire, were coerced or pressured into and affected their view of God and their worth. The most powerful aspect is the application of the gospel to the pain of shame and disgrace. The Holcomb's thoroughly and effectively explain the Gospel and how it applies not only to sins we are guilty of, but those committed against us. We no longer have to be victims of the sins of others. Jesus cleanses us of the effects of sin and defines our worth with his very life. We are precious, bought at a price. This book is powerful and should be read by everyone in church leadership. Even if the shame one walks under is not related to sexual sin, this book will be effective in addressing how Jesus deals with sin and shame in our lives.

  • Kendra
    2019-05-17 12:34

    Disjointed, repetitive, and boring is how I would categorize this book. I was surprised to see how many people rated it highly. I am a fast reader and this book of barely over 200 pages took me way longer to read than it should have. I actually kept falling asleep while I was reading it. The book claims to be about sexual assault but large parts of the book don't even mention sexual assault or anything related to it at all, and instead go on to explanations of theology. Don't get me wrong, I think there is a place for the integration of the two but this book was supposed to be about sexual assault and how God can help you through the pain and the process of healing that comes with the experience. Instead I just felt like the authors were repeating the same theological statements over and over again. The last two chapters don't mention sexual assault at all, not even to wrap everything up and give the book some closure. The personal stories would normally be the part that I enjoyed but they were short and seemed to just state that they got through the experience with the help of God's grace without saying how they got to that point. I would have liked to hear more about their stories and their processes of healing. There has to be better books about sexual assault out there, I hope to read more on the subject and hopefully find some books that are helpful.

  • Scott
    2019-05-07 13:00

    Read for review for church resource area. The first 3 chapters were incredibly difficult to read and the stories before each chapter in the second section was also difficult to stomach. However, great book and the last section "Grace Applied" does an excellent job of surveying the theology of grace in both Old and New Testaments. From a "technical" standpoint, it seemed like this was two different books by how it was broken down. The first two sections were very emotive and written to the reader under the assumption that they had been sexually assaulted, while the third section was very theological and read like a "Biblical Theology of Sexuality & Grace". However, none of this technical critique took away from the overall feeling I walked away with from the book.

  • Amanda
    2019-05-04 11:55

    Using the story of Tamar's rape at the hands of her brother as a template, Ride of My Disgrace is a book written to help victims of sexual assault find healing in God. This book is divided into three parts - the first part explores what sexual assault is and what the effects of it are, the second part looks at how God's grace affects the different affects of assault (shame, guilt, anger, etc) and contains personal stories, and the last part looks at violence and grace in the Bible. This book should be in every pastor's library as a resource to help the hurting.

  • Chuck Relfe
    2019-05-16 10:45

    Not an easy read. A must read for anyone working, living, or ministering to those sexually assaulted. The writers are not just academic but have plenty of hands on experience documented. There are far more wounded by this around us than I realized. It is important to be able to see the signs and be able to be the Good Samaratin.

  • Paula Wiseman
    2019-05-03 06:46

    Wow, what powerful truth is contained in this book. I will be going back to it again and again.

  • Toby Neal
    2019-05-21 09:48

    The Holcomb's write a very helpful book on the subject of the sin of abuse and the shame it engenders do victims and survivors. It is well written and offers real hope. The stories of survivors show the horror of the subject but also show how the books ideas can change your life. While there are many books on dealing with abuse socially, emotionally Etc, this book deals with the subject theologically. What does God say about abuse? How can faith in God and an awareness of his grace help survivors and perpetrators? I also noticed a newer version has a helpful appendix which gives suggestions on what to say and what not to say to a victim. These can also be found online at the Holcomb's website.One slight quibble is that the Holcomb's depend heavily on Cornelius Plantinga's "vandalism of shalom" paradigm. As DA Carson has shown, this approach is not wrong but it possibly obscured the Bible's teaching on sin. Carson says, "Human sin in Gen 3 certainly destroys human relationships and brings a curse on the creation, but treating this comprehensive odium as the vandalism of shalom makes it sound both too slight and too detached from God. After all, the fundamental act was disobeying God, and a central ingredient in the temptation of Eve was the incitement to become as God, knowing good and evil."Besides this, the book is excellent.

  • Liria Forsythe
    2019-04-26 12:55

    I think the information was good from a professional level and for those who haven't experienced sexual abuse themselves. For those who have, it can come across as a bit condemning and at times add additional shame for the way a victim dealt with their abuse. I don't recommend this for survivors but may to someone who just wants general information.

  • Robert
    2019-05-15 07:43

    Fantastic ReadThis is a wonderful book that guides the reader to hope and truth when it may be hard to believe. Anyone counseling victims of sexual assault or individuals who have been a victim of sexual assault should read this book.

  • Will Dole
    2019-05-13 10:57

    Everyone should read this book. I don't say that very often.

  • Beau
    2019-05-01 13:34

    Thank you Holcombs for writing this book!

  • Sonja
    2019-05-12 14:44

    This book is the church's best resource for those who've been victims of sexual assault. Both the victim and the counselor should read it.

  • Craig
    2019-05-12 09:57

    For RTS -- Pastoral Counseling.

  • Nate Brooks
    2019-05-25 06:59

    I've struggled with how to rate this book. On the one had, much of the material contained in this book is wise and helpful. Nobody truly wants to read a book on sexual abuse, but we must do so. The beginning chapters helpfully survey statistics and definitions of sexual abuse. The middle chapters address categories that must be worked through in helping a victim of sexual abuse. The final chapters give an overview of an expanded theology of the gospel and how Christ has conquered sin and restored those who are his. While the material in the book was primarily helpful, the book itself is not particularly well put together. The three sections are terribly disjointed. The last section does not mention sexual abuse or give any kind of closure to the book on the whole. Additionally, the book slipped in and out of second and third person language, sometimes within the same paragraph. Is this a book written to victims or to those seeking to aid victims? Portions of it read on a popular level and others on an academic level. This leaves the book rather uneven to the point of distraction.I do have one point of contention with the Holcomb's presentation of sexual abuse. I say this hesitatingly for concern of being misunderstood, because the overwhelming bulk of the book is biblical and helpful. At points, the Holcomb's presentation of sexual abuse excuses sins of the victim. Victims are not ultimately responsible for the totality of what was done. However, there is a difference between coercion/manipulation and physical force/violence. In one of the testimonies in the book, a victim described how a man manipulated her by begging and whining for her to defile herself with him, threatening to refuse to give her a ride home unless she did what he desired. She ultimately acquiesced. This man certainly bears the majority of the guilt for his manipulation. However, this woman also bore responsibility for choosing to engage in the activity instead of absolute refusal. We see this principle in the Scriptures with the contrasting examples of Joseph and Dinah. According to the Holcomb's grid it appears that Joseph would not have borne guilt for sleeping with Potiphar's wife because he was being coerced into it by an individual in authority over him. Dinah on the other had was physically overcome by her assailant and bore no guilt. A wise biblical counselor must deal with the sins of the victim when there are sins, difficult though they may be. This criticism notwithstanding, this is a book worth reading. A better book should be written, but for now this is the one to read.

  • Maggie
    2019-04-29 12:42

    I read this in preparation for a 40 hour training to accompany survivors and to see if SOMEONE had managed to write a book about healing without either glossing over the soul shattering effects of assault or falling into the trap of blaming the victim for causing or contributing to the choice to sin of the assailant. This book is astonishing. With clear language, candor, and scripture to encourage healing and not condemn hope is indeed offered. Considering the filthy sin and horrid memories with God and in prayer seemed impossible to me until recently. bringing together all together unholy acts and God, even the loving and compassionate savior, simply was impossible to comprehend. I cried when I understood that I was not alone in this. Struggling to grow in faith and depth as a believer meant dealing with this, confronting my own fears, and sin that has grown up amidst the weeds of fear, shame, anger, doubt, bitterness, and frankly a paralyzing sense of hopelessness. This book opens the doors to looking at the reality of what happens in the moment, how memories are made-stored, and can scar one's heart and soul if allowed to fester without the healing God can bring. Meeting survivors where they are without shaming for failing to just get on with life and put these memories to rest is rare. To see a respect for the process of healing and the reasons for some many common issues laid out in a non judgmental way was heartening. Shame and fear have permeated my life, drowning and seemingly quenching the Spirit. To find that God longs to be with us in the deepest and darkest places to heal was life changing. I wish this book had been available 15 years ago.If I could put a copy into the hands of every pastor, women's ministry leader, Christian counselor and rape crisis worker I would. Sadly, too many people are ashamed of the pain, terror, disgrace and darkness that survivors are cloaked in-hiding our hope, stealing our peace and joy and are unable to stand in the icky and harsh place to offer the hope of God so the disgrace and self hate Tamer shared with so many of us can be washed away. Praying for courage for helpers to be the voice, hands, and arms of God for victims ad that more people will read this book so they know that everyday people can point hurting folks to God for hope and healing.

  • Laura Slusar
    2019-05-21 11:47

    This book will always be special to me. I read this while going to a bi-weekly sexual abuse healing group through my church. I don't think I have highlighted and scribbled in margins in a book as much as I have in this one. The authors clearly know the range of reactions a person has to sexual assault- and they are sure to mention each one. A lot of the content connected with me- and a lot didnt-- guess why? Because we all process trauma uniquely, as I noticed through processing the book with others in the group. This book is painfully real and I've cried through it a lot, and I don't know if I could handle it without the support of my group. I think its a journey worth taking if you're up for it. The authors include great biblical content, Scripture to discover and analyze on your own, and a wonderful amount of comfort and information on grace and the healing that can come only from God.

  • Benjamin
    2019-05-07 09:45

    this book is an incredible resource to help those who have gone through sexual abuse of any kind or to help those who would counsel and comfort them understand many of the things they are dealing with. as someone who has been on both sides of that definition, i can attest that it is very insightful and spot on. there are a few issues i wish the author would've gone into more deeply, but in general it is an excellent book on this subject and i am not aware of any other that has such a balanced and biblical approach to it.

  • Faustine
    2019-05-21 07:35

    This is a great book. The Holcombs wrote a book full of biblical truths with lots of compassion and knowledge. This book is really useful for victims of sexual assault and also for anyone who want to help victims (people involve in the ministry, please read that book!).I really appreciated that each chapter explain the gospel. And the Holcombs don't just say "you should be fine because of the gospel, period." but they explain WHY and HOW the gospel can help victims to heal from the suffering they go through.

  • Jay Miklovic
    2019-05-11 12:32

    This is not a book that is enjoyable to read. This book reads like a pastoral letter to victims of sexual assault, and will open your eyes to the real and ongoing torment victims endure. Though I am not a victim, this book has given me great insight in to life of a very dear friend that I otherwise may have never had.This book is a gospel laden tonic for victims and a great revelation for those of us who live with minister with and love those who have been victimized. A rare 5 star. I'd never call a book a must read, but this is close.

  • Michael Banh
    2019-05-17 14:33

    One of the few books on how the gospel gives hope and freedom in Christ to those who have been unfortunate to have experienced sexual abuse. It can get a bit hard to read, but hang in there, there's a lot of much needed wisdom for both sufferers and those who have friends and family who suffer from current or past abuse. The book defines sexual abuse and gives alarming statistics on how often it happens. There are stories of real people who were courageous enough to share their testimonies.

  • Austin Mcgrath
    2019-04-29 08:30

    this book was beautifully written! They wrote it was genius, its was written to people who have been sexually assaulted, people who have not, how to help people and pastors. The book started fairly intense covering this sensitive topic, pulling out testimonies, emotions they feel, scripture, aftermath and finding grace through it all. This book will keep you interested the entire way through, not a single page was wasted, and the ending prayer will hit you hard.

  • Roger Messner
    2019-05-22 14:00

    Do not let the subtitle of this book dissuade you. Whether committed by us or against us this book addresses the atrocity of sin that we all feel. The question is will I/we trust the offer of God's grace and our standing with him because of it.To the the detriment of myself, the people I love, and the people who love me I have not ever fully trusted that this "good news" was for me.Healing is available to all, will we trust in it?

  • Mark
    2019-05-22 07:42

    Rid of My Disgrace is an excellent biblical resource for victims of sexual abuse – carefully defining terms; giving relevant, biblical answers for healing; and providing personal testimonies of God’s grace from actual victims.I highly recommend this book for those struggling with the disgrace of sexual abuse.

  • Ian Rees
    2019-04-29 07:00

    A superb book to give hope for all who have experienced sexual abuse, as well as explain to those trying to help them what victims feel. The main section details the particular effects of such abuse (denial, anger, guilt, shame, a distorted self-image, despair) and how the gospel of Jesus speaks right into those situations.

  • Anthony Alvarado
    2019-05-05 11:53

    Tough book to read both in the subject matter and the style. Very relevant and truth driven but reads like an academic text book, even the testimonies. I think it's a needed book but very hard to get through. Not sure if someone who really needed it could get through it. These truths and comfort and encouragement are going to come through relationship.

  • Heather
    2019-05-09 10:56

    The first 2/3 of this book are excellent - giving solid hope and clinical explanation of the process of recovering from sexual assault. The last third of the book felt like a theological treatise that seemed detached from the book and not what someone looking for healing would connect with.

  • Lynette Karg
    2019-05-23 12:46

    I read to gain a better understanding of this issue for counseling others. It was helpful in many respects, though at times kind of dry reading. It was worth persevering though and presented the gospel as superior to worldly wisdom in recovering from sexual assault.